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"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie
"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie - the graphic up close
"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie
"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie
"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie
"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie
"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie
"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie
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"My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative" Unisex Pullover Hoodie

Original designs you won't find anywhere else

From$51.95 USD

+ $2.99 shipping · $1.99 for 2 · free with 3+ items

Buy 3+, save 15% on any mix of designs

Earn 2% back in store credit (from $1.04) How it works

  • A downhill rider flies off the rocks with both hands off the bars, and the tiny teal brake levers go completely unused
  • The slogan admits what every fast rider already knows about their stopping habits
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PLACEMENTFront + Back print

Model is 6′2″ (189 cm) and wears size M.

Free size exchange on your first order · How it works

Designed in Korea
Sharp, lasting print
Printed near you
Estimated delivery: Nov 9 – 25 Weekends are excluded; public holidays, customs and remote-area delivery may extend these estimates.

© StyleMZ · Original Design. Reproduction prohibited.

Not fast fashion

Original artwork you won't find on marketplaces. Every design is drawn in-house.
A name-brand garment. Printed on Gildan, not an unbranded copy.
Ships from the US. Tracked delivery.
Free size exchange on your first order. Wrong size? We send the right one, free
If it arrives wrong, we fix it. Free reprint or refund for damage or misprints
Secure checkout — payments encrypted and processed by Stripe

At a glance

Fit
Classic relaxed unisex fit with a double-lined hood, pouch pocket and ribbed trim.
Material
Cotton-rich fleece with a soft brushed inside, about 8.4 oz/yd² (285 g/m²); the exact blend can vary by colour.
Care
Machine wash cold, inside out, on a gentle cycle with like colours. Use non-chlorine bleach only when needed; tumble dry low or hang dry.

“My Brakes Are Mostly Decorative” — Unisex Pullover Hoodie

Classic relaxed unisex fit with a double-lined hood, pouch pocket and ribbed trim. Cotton-rich fleece with a soft brushed inside, about 8.4 oz/yd² (285 g/m²); the exact blend can vary by colour.

Design story & product details

On a hoodie, the print carries every speck of halftone dust and crosshatched rock, so the joke lands with grit intact. A downhill rider launches off a rocky ledge in an orange burst of dirt, both arms flung wide and hands nowhere near the bars, while the slogan climbs beside him: My brakes are mostly Decorative. The small teal brake levers are the only cool color in the whole scene, and nobody is touching them.

It suits the friend who rides the black diamond trail first and checks the line later.

Size chart

Unisex Pullover Hoodie · relaxed unisex fit, brushed fleece — garment laid flat, in / cm

SizeChestLength
S20" 50.8 cm28" 71.1 cm
M22" 55.8 cm29" 73.6 cm
L24" 60.9 cm30" 76.2 cm
XL26" 66.0 cm31" 78.7 cm
2XL28" 71.1 cm32" 81.2 cm
3XL30" 76.2 cm33" 83.8 cm

Manufacturer specification; allow a tolerance of about 1 in (2.5 cm). Chest is measured pit to pit, length from the highest point of the shoulder.


Product details

Materials & fit

Warm mid-weight fleece with a soft brushed inside, spun to resist pilling.

Cotton-rich fleece with a soft brushed inside, about 8.4 oz/yd² (285 g/m²); the exact blend can vary by colour.

Classic relaxed unisex fit with a double-lined hood, pouch pocket and ribbed trim.

Print placement

Artwork on the front and the back, as shown in the photos.

Care

  • Machine wash cold, inside out, on a gentle cycle with like colours.
  • Use non-chlorine bleach only when needed; tumble dry low or hang dry.
  • Do not iron the print and do not dry clean.

Delivery & returns

Designed in Korea and printed near you: orders to the US, Europe, Canada and Australia are printed in the region and arrive in about 4-10 business days; other countries are printed in Korea and shipped with tracking. The estimate for your country is shown at checkout. If it arrives damaged or misprinted, tell us within 7 days and we reprint or refund it. First order and the size is wrong? We send the right size free, shipping included.