OBJECT
“Stairs? Help Yourself” — Heavyweight Unisex Crewneck T-shirt
Classic regular unisex fit with set-in sleeves, a rib-knit collar and taped neck and shoulders. Solid colours are 100% preshrunk cotton; fibre content can vary by colour. Heavyweight 5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²) jersey.
Design story & product details
The joke starts with the empty square of light at the top of the stairwell. A great horned owl flies down the steel spiral toward you with its wings spread wide. It gives you the flat stare of someone who has never climbed a step, and above it this heavyweight tee says Stairs? Help yourself.
The barred feathers and riveted beams are drawn in fine pencil greys, so it works as real bird art before the punchline lands. It suits the birdwatcher who always takes the elevator.
Size chart
Heavy Cotton T-Shirt · Gildan 5000 · classic fit — garment laid flat, in / cm
| Size | Chest | Length | Sleeve |
|---|---|---|---|
| S | 18″ 45.7 cm | 28″ 71.1 cm | 15.6″ 39.7 cm |
| M | 20″ 50.8 cm | 29″ 73.7 cm | 17″ 43.2 cm |
| L | 22″ 55.9 cm | 30″ 76.2 cm | 18.5″ 47.0 cm |
| XL | 24″ 61.0 cm | 31″ 78.7 cm | 20″ 50.8 cm |
| 2XL | 26″ 66.0 cm | 32″ 81.3 cm | 21.5″ 54.6 cm |
| 3XL | 28″ 71.1 cm | 33″ 83.8 cm | 22.4″ 56.8 cm |
| 4XL | 30″ 76.2 cm | 34″ 86.4 cm | 23.6″ 60.0 cm |
| 5XL | 32″ 81.3 cm | 35″ 88.9 cm | 25″ 63.5 cm |
Manufacturer specification; allow a tolerance of about 1 in (2.5 cm). Chest is measured pit to pit, length from the highest point of the shoulder.
Product details
Materials & fit
Solid colours are 100% preshrunk cotton; fibre content can vary by colour. Heavyweight 5.3 oz/yd² (180 g/m²) jersey.
Classic regular unisex fit with set-in sleeves, a rib-knit collar and taped neck and shoulders.
Print placement
Artwork on the front and the back, as shown in the photos.
Care
- Machine wash cold, inside out, on a gentle cycle with like colours.
- Use non-chlorine bleach only when needed; tumble dry low or hang dry.
- Do not iron the print and do not dry clean.
Delivery & returns
Ships with tracking; the delivery estimate for your country is shown on this page. If it arrives damaged or misprinted, tell us within 7 days and we reprint or refund it. First order and the size is wrong? We remake it in another size at 35% off.
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