"Some Assembly Regretted" Unisex Longsleeve T-shirt

A wooden folding chair fills most of the artwork on this unisex longsleeve t-shirt, and it has gone badly wrong. The slatted seat and the single curved back rail are where they should be, but the legs have been bent into two interlocking loops that cross beneath the seat like a pretzel knot. Up at the left, three stacked lines of heavy stencil capitals read Some Assembly Regretted, tilted upward to the right on a jagged torn black panel with a thin orange rule under each line.

To the right of the chair, two ragged orange strips finish the joke in black stencil letters: It Folds. Just Not Flat. Three torn paper scraps are pinned around the scene like evidence. One is a close view of a hinge and its domed rivet, stuck down with a strip of orange tape. Another is a small instruction diagram showing an ordinary chair folding shut the way it was meant to, with a curved orange arrow and a dotted line tracing the motion. The third is a dark halftone fragment held by an orange paperclip.

The chair is drawn in an engraving manner, cream with black linework, with crosshatching following the wood grain around every bend and small screws marked at each joint. The capitals are speckled as if stamped with worn ink. It suits anyone who has finished a flat-pack build with parts left over, and it makes an easy gift for the household’s designated assembler.